You should be proud of me, Thirty years of perfect mimickry, You fully believed I was human Perfected identity, You never even knew the real me You never even cared to ask, So I'll keep on pretending Perfection in obscurity, Hidden behind my mask And it's funny to me now That my righteousness was all show, And it protected me from questions I was too scared to ask, It protected me from Truths I felt too broken to know, So I'll take to the stage and bow, Scream out "look at me now" I hold my mask in two hands, I need not make no demands I knew all you secrets, I know all you games My secret weapon Is attention to detail, And I know all your crimes and tall tales And you didn't even know my name, So no need for me to take blame No need for me to feel shame I'll keep my cards close, My lover closer, And never show what's in my head, I'll be closing up, I'll be telling falsehoods, Keep my demons warm and fed I hope you remember me As a mess of eccentricities Barely held together by these chords, Done paying a price I can't afford I'm keeping my Masks locked tight, They're keeping me up at night, But I know the ticket to my survival Cause I never learned a trick more vital I can't afford to show my skin anymore I won't show my sin anymore, Cause there's nothing more destructive than my honesty So I'll practice confidence like it's common sense to hide this side of me, It's due diligence to perform this like it's all I know Because all I learned by growing up is how to put on a show

I am not a hobbyist, The chords and keys are not a past-time, Just sounds to be keeping me, This is not just for the stress, When I write these lines, I separate the truth from the lies, This is not just entertainment This is cutting out a key To a locked box under my bed In hope to find my sustainment This is crafting meaning out of words Until my arraignment This may be an exercise in futility, The hours in the mines, chisling out the fossils left of the rest of me, This is a reconstruction, Of a long, tired institution, That used to find shelter in my mind, Mind you, I’m not practiced in the art, A decade long journey only leaves me at the start, But I wouldn’t be at it this long if it was only for the joy of it, This is either building a structure to stand the test of time, Or I will be the one destroying it, I’ll follow the chords to the end This sound is my lifeline, What the keys unlock is what can mend, This sound is my lifeline, Don’t let it end, I didn’t want these lyrics to become lectures, The buffet of battle cries is bound to grow old But Speaking truth into silence gives no fire to my soul, The prose needs a firm hold to grasp Sputtering purposeless poetry Leaves no foundation that will last All who fill their prose with empty words Are bound to pass, If music is a forest, Let my words be an ax, To cut a path through, To grow with the poets who last, I’m threading blast chord into the sound subtlety was never my strong suit, This will be rough and unappealing, Cause I was never one to keep it cute, As long as those I am trying to speak to Keep leaving me on mute, I’ll mark the part of me trying to be seen for deletion, Save and execute I'm no carbon copy character Keeping context out of mass I'm marking meaning in the meter Making matter into glass Growing greatness in the gallons Getting greener every task Tell you truth about the timbre There no tale you just have to ask I'm pardoned for the project Prose projected to the back, Baked and breaking Bearing bitterness behind the broken mask Marred by men making manliness in to a moronic act, Ask my later about the identity I'll be burying in the back

Selfish and cutting Calloused and Blunting Provider turned to ash I relish your haunting, But your malice is daunting, You left me to take the lash And I Wish I meant much to you, But the dreams are essential, To show your potential The dissonant is the proof And i Took my leave at noon, No flourish or flaunting Your words amount to nothing, I left in search of truth you were meant to be there Father, friend you left me wanting, supportive when I followed in your footsteps, But when I stepped aside to find My own my light, Your hands turned to fists wielding daggers, And I wasn't meant to be journeying alone You still breathe yet I feel a ghost in your home, I came to you whole with body and name, You wield scripture To shame warmth gone, love shattered,

Shook the last dollar from the bank, All dried up, Jesus to thank, How inspired, this holy task, Of paying God's bills, you only have to ask I'm sure omnipotent builds a fine, God Built up a tab on water and wine, I got you, lord you can pay me next time, Tasked to tithe, pay for grace, He's a material girl in his material faith, Pass the pan, fill the hat, Pay your way, Mind the gap, It's only a tenth, it's only your bread, It's only the way you get your grace, Just put your money where your faith is, A dollar to good graces, I'm sure i'll prosper like the pastor, Preaching humility for the now and here-after, Showing off new his solid gold stratocaster, The master of the prosperity chapter, I'm sure the holes in my shoes are worth his Tesla Model 3, And the size of my apartment should be a tenth of the size of the sanctuary, And the homeless that were shooed away, To make room for the private parking space, All are God Blessed despite how uncaring it all seems, Why else would it be on TV

We keep Going back and forth from awake and asleep We teeter on complacency as we rest inside the deep Disregard can come on like a thief Steal away our morals while we try to keep our feet, And we delight in simplicity and push away any complexity Anything vexing or contradictory, We stay relaxed so as to not become perplexingly reactionary, Cause confusion is the devils play thing, Or at least that must be what's so terrifying, Cause we hide from knowledge like it's veracity Can rip and tear like a slasher movie And they're not wrong. Ignorance is bliss, so they say, And to find yourself where night becomes day, Will open yourself up to realize not all are OK And that can be terrifying to display, The horrors are neon and throw color into the gray, And you just pull the curtains and find a comfortable corner to stay, You flip the record, turn up the speakers and let the music play, Comforting and opaque, Solitary as you can make, But the disenfranchised are screaming, pounding at your door, As you lie under the covers you so adore, The violence and hate are so clear but you create something more, A damaging, hope destroying tolerance that leaves us buried under the floor, And you cry Foul as they fight to be heard, But the hearts beneath the floorboard are pounding loud enough to hurt, And no earplugs nor radio can drown out the words, Despite your ignorance and complacency, we will not be ignored.

Ooh, The end is coming It's almost time, Oh Brace for impact The bell tolls for you, Oh It's almost time To say fuck the system Fuck the system Oh Light the matches let it all burn down Down Down I'm falling in with this strange attraction, Pulling focus from this dissatisfaction, Inundated with the corporate message flow, This collision with no complications, Open mics for their supplication, Worship music for the freedom you can not know It's 1 2 3 with the force of nations, Blacking out from the realizations, We're burning up under solar flares galore So pack light times collapsing, All night morale lapsing It's just anti fascist propaganda and we want more, You know, I know, everything's on fire, We've been playing dancing on a live wire, Burn up burn down, kill it if you must We are the people going from dust to dust, And I know you know it's a matter of time Til all the culture will lose its rhyme, And I'm banking on a return to form, From working to living where chaos is norm, And I know we know this life is fucked, We're still scrounging for gold deep in the muck, And all the shit getting polished still smells like home Cause the worth of living is the shit you own

I pour myself into a paper cup I hope that I can finally be enough Take of me I give me freely I pour myself into a paper cup I open up a vein, Bite through the pain This is how I was taught to play this game, So take from me what you want from me Consuming me like property, Truly blood is currency It doesn’t matter that this is hurting me, So grab a cup, fill it up, I'm sure this blood will be enough To Bleed me out Without a doubt I know my worth, it's blood in mouth I pour myself into a paper cup How much depends in how deep I cut Take of me I give me freely I pour myself into a paper cup It's now communion day The cost is worth the pain, I'm sure that this is supposed to make you feel this way, Like your leaking from a spout, Tip and pour me out a wound so deep no bandage can heal the pain, But it's pain to make the art, To the heart is where we start Make sure to take the time to clean the blade, cut me to the quick, Upper left is where you stick Press it in with a twist as you make me play It's all as malicious as a cyst Performing melancholic hits, You know how deep the blade can go, So as you stab me in the back, perform the art as the act, Make sure to let me leave you slow It's all codependent art, To leave me leaking from the heart Leave it red upon the fallen snow, I'll make sure to die upon the stage Sacrifice is all the rage It's only harm if you don't put it in the show,

All out attack this goddamned Sunday Bloody March on the burnout runway Call it a protest of the poisoned youth Hollowed them out, Hallelu you righteously depraved, Show me the truth You blot out gray, Call out the noose, Impermanence displayed, No violence is new, It's just shadowed in the day, It's practically remade, By the meddling, It's life or death And the publicists choose, And the publicists choose I hereby name my sin As blessed This is no test I am purposely Regressed, And it's all Scripted in the text, I am cursed I am blessed Hey How you gonna tell me it's OK, How you gonna act like This ain't some bull shit Day by day, It's not karmic We Exterminate, You have placed This leaden Weight Upon my chest With no plan To elucidate You climb inside This cardiac arrest Stabbing knives Inside my flesh Leaving life Contrite Unblessed Unalive unsuppressed Strip this erudite And Set a light this hellish test This unfinished game of chess Like a weight upon my chest There's no hope with no protest Contrasted sides locked in contest Common crimes In constant conflict You criticize The poor man's instinct To humanize The criminal precinct, You weaponize The human condition, I empathize With your victims, Drawn and quartered For your image Strong on crime, Weak on morals, Death by justice Death by justice Death by justice Hey How you gonna sleep at night, How you gonna close your eyes Don't the sirens keep you awake At night This Blinding light Illuminate

Being honest or being isolating depends on who you are, Reception tends to alter if you happen to be a star If you admit your mental troubles and you don't seem to trend, It's just concerning, not enlightening, when you go round the bend, You're relatable if you package it right, They'll worship you and lavish you with gifts for the fight But if you don't have the numbers, and stutter with what you say When you let down your defenses and alienating and depraved, I mean, honestly, look at those we forgive, The Kardashians and Osbornes with all the slack we can give, But when our neighbor has a struggle, we can't seem to spare the buck, We spent it on another famous rich dumb fuck, It's like the icons took all our focus, we can see those around, Those just trying to get their dreams off the fucking ground, We can't see how little we have to do, To make a soul believe that their hopes and dreams are true, But it’s fine I’m only dying on the inside, I’m only honest to a fault, unreceptive to your advice, But its fine I’m only exhausted with the climb, I’m only exhausted with your words, It’s only a matter of time, Before i cross line I’m wholly dependant on the perception of my peers, My momentum is capped cause I’ve been pulling this weight for years, And me talking about it, and tweeting about this, Doesn’t change a thing, so I put it down in lyrics that a cocky shit wouldn't sing, I’m still just a kite lost in the wind, Spinning down a suction, with no strength left to expend, I’m learning that I can’t follow the advice of those who win, Cause we may have the same job title, But we are not kin, I've been reaching out for a hand, and left to hang alone, The only comfort I find is within the 4 walls of my home, And the three bottles of dreams on my bedside table, Are the pieces of the puzzle that helps my psyche keep the hold, I'm not reaching for a savior, I'd just like to find a friend, One who doesn't judge me for the lyrics I expend, Just a soul who gets the struggle, And an ear that I can bend, A body to take some space and shield the candle from the wind

I got a glitch in the matrix, Want to be known but fear fame, Want to take steps into the future, Crossing bridges bearing flame, But I’ll be backstepping out of the forest thinking it’ll all turn out the same, A coward of a hero, no glory to the name, I want to take a journey out the homestead Like Frodo from the shire, Make First steps out of the Jupiter Walk into the shadows from the fire But I crawl back under blankets like I’m a child again, seeing snow drifts in the wardrobe, And I'm not looking in, I took a step from the Ordinary, Answered a call, But as i climb ever higher, It’s just further to fall, The greats have walked this path, And found their way to stand tall, But as I step beyond the threshold, I can’t best them all, And i know that what I've faced is only the trial, The truest test is still yet to come, I’ve only tasted a sip of what's in the vial And I don't know if this is torture or fun I can’t play pacifist when it comes to my art, That’s why I keep being raring to go, but failing to start, No matter if I’m in the zone, or coming apart, I got to keep fighting on through if I want to depart, in the journey, I'm two faced truth, trying to be the hero of my story, I'm the villain of my youth, Trying to play at ego, wear my label with pride, I created the scenario in which my younger self would run and hide, Cause it’s uncomfortable out here in this dingy spotlight, And the weatherman said it would be better to stay inside, But I'm caught in the tornado and it’s too late for fright, I’m far from Kansas, and I've got to be ready to fly, Can you be the rival of your own mind? Lost in the obstacles you put in your own way, Trapped in cages of thoughts destructive and unkind, And all you want is to crawl out and face the day, But the villain in your way wears your own face, And you left all the weapons of your youth inside All the vigor and resolve left without a trace, In the cage made of the walls you raised in your mind, Wrote myself as damaged again, I'm Always playing the monk with dissipating Zen, Some disturbed Saint, who lost themselves to sin, But in truth it’s Simmons who killed the Poet with the Pen, And I'm losing my yang to the yin, Philosophizing life while ranting to my kin, Mocking purpose in the echoes of prophesizing men, And yet I'm seeing myself lusting for the end,

Hate Me, Kill me, I don't want to be me, Dissonance over and over, Chaos never ending, No envy for the contest, End me at the protest, Poet with the hatchet, In the street read for combat, Suicide no bridal, Death taunting no recital, No verbiage found to be vital, No courage, homicidal, I'm only here for the backstab, Dateline gun tag, Competence with the comebacks, No practice with the program, I'm Dying Time Running Out Hate me, fuck me, No envy for the punk scene, Screaming at the echo chamber, No one saying anything, No violence at the scumbags, Racist fucking shit stains, All gather at the concert, Screaming at an empty stage, No commonsense, Listless at the premise, Saying nonsense, Hypocrites No self awareness, Common chorus, no-one bares it, It's all performance art at best, Lest we bare some regrets, Took tolerance for acceptance, Ignorant to the protests, And I'm not claiming righteous, I'm time locked to my crisis, I just need someone to fight this, Punk rock Nazi propaganda, Before I tap out, Some one knock my lights out, I'm tired of this contradiction, Come take me to meet my religion

Everything hurts but that's ok I’ll live with this cancer until it goes away And if it wont, I'll survive, Or i won’t but it won’t hurt if I'm not alive And this only hurts when i breathe I’ll feel fine when this consciousness leaves So call me a physician For this tunnel vision Cause i can only see where i belong And when I close my eyes I realize How it would be If I were gone Hear me when I say I'm ok Cause I'm sure this medicine Will make it go away And I'm telling you I'll be fine Cause i can make believe There’s no demons in my mind Cause it’s only hell when i sleep So this insomnia will keep me from the deep Help me please I'm falling down It's everyday so I get it if you let me hit the ground And I don't know, If it's karmic law But I suppose I can accept if it's all I got It's shit of a plot, I'm ok, I can let you know, If gravity is a bitch of a lover at 6 feet down It's a hell of a sound Posttraumatic artistic muse, A spectrum of lyrical blues Catch the color in the tone I'd rather be alone, I hate this face of stone, Hate the wall I built around myself I barricade in desperation, Pain is my great expectation, If my borderline is depression And anxious solitary confinement, How do I know what's contentment, How do I know when i find alignment, I'm fine when I'm blind to my slow decline, Show my sign, Halt the climb, There's no grand design, It's not ok, I'm just fine, It's just the weight on my mind, Dragging me down to bedrock Where I'll sleep in the mess of mine, Climb into the grave and take stock Cause this only hurts when i choose breathe So ill halt the airwaves and let this consciousness leaves

I'm a mind matted by meaningful lies, And I'm scattered in pieces and Patterns to leave em in tatters, And I'm Nothing but verses, rhythms and curses, Staccato Consonants controversial reverses, I'm no lyrical matador, Metaphorically I'm a door, Nothing more, I'm a portal to be used n ignored, Just let me throw show to the wind, Wind back and let's begin, Scripted to the end, I'm only a kid in pretend Don't save me I'm a mess I keep daggers In my chest I find value In my distress I'm unbothered I'm undressed, No pained plea, There's no test, I can be, More than this, You just can't see, I'm depressed, Buts it's candy, It's progress, I'm Carpeted with runes upon the house left in ruins Left rusted binding in bedded, I'm powered by songs unleaded, I'm scheming with tomes of leather, I'm teething on tales untethered, Keeping meters far from measured, So they lead me unto the treasure, Call me invested in my distress, I nest my value in the Vexed I got a Bin of bargains in my chest I'm most rested in my unrest, I'm putting purpose in demons, I'm rather versed in these heathens, I'm having lunch with the pastors, While planning dinner with cretins, I'm more Jesus than reverends, They scheme with demons we rend He leaves heaven in Zion, I reach heaven by pretend, So take the ladder to Vegas, I'm scattered thoughts left in stasis, It's just word vomit as I write this, Leave me nauseous as I fight this, It's lyrical combat with the man of my past, Let's get past that lift the weight on my back, Nobody has that, the verses I rap, Are no precon, I'm beyond that,

I wear the bloody F upon my chest, My Scarlet rune, Letter maroon, Call me names, compassion id bereft, I sealed my tomb, It'll be over soon Every piece of me has an element of tragedy, Heresy poured over me And you can taste the spite, Damnation is the perfect spice, It's the flavor of this atheistic, bisexual abomination, Existing in this Christian nation I'm a freak, I'm a fuck, I'm a faggot, Free of faith And this fucking muck, It's fucking tragic, That you give a shit, Bout who has or hasn't Asked God who they should fuck, You fucking catholic, And it's me, I'm the problem, Having issues, And choose to solve them, Our personal choices, Are your hill to die on, Crucify me on the mount of zion Hang me high, reaching to the sky, Upon the Stonewall Judge me sinning, Like the best of them all, I'm in good company No matter how I fall, I'll land with people like me And you can call God To ask her who's at fault, And the crowd nods, At the madness Creeping up in the fraud, At the damning of those beyond their walls, In synch they fall You're all small

I never want to break like this again, This doesn't mend suspended by the wrists til you comprehend, This cold corrosive consciousness killing all my kin, glass tied to a rip chord ‘til I drop, Lost to the world But I'm not Just a soul caught fallen in the mold Boxed up and away rooted to the spot In the dirt I will stay, head in the clouds as I rot I’ve been damned destitute and afraid, Scammed by the institute maimed by the day, Deafened and mute, blinded by flame, hatred in suits ignited by a name, I’m broken to mend Rent by the bending Of my bones, No ego to defend Break me til you feel at home, I'm perfectly Rent, No notes, No complaints, Or contradictions, I've cast me off this peak By my own volition So Gild me and hide these scars, Fill me so I only break at bars, Seal me so I can't speak Or spill these secrets that I keep, I see their face as I sleep, Nighttime demons in the deep, I've stitched me up so i won't miss, No more crimson leaking from these lips, Hallelujah, Grace is sifted from this mess, Tell me how could ya Face your demons in your test? I'm already through the Maze you place me into And raced and chased, out paced The pain you put me through Do you think you've had your fun, Berating and breaking everyone, Do you think you're the only one Preaching a solitary interpretation Weak willed and alone On a stage of your own creation I admit I'm a little out of touch with your revelation, Do I sound like your next pastime? A person to place your hate into I've already spent mine, I took it in and breathed on through, But you scream and shout judgment here, Where only echoes and epitaphs greet your ears And until you're brave enough to to face your fears, You'll scar and mar those you're trying to speak to And I never want to break like this again, This doesn't mend suspended by the wrists til you comprehend, This cold corrosive consciousness killing all my kin,

You are an inspiration, You inspired me to go further than you, My muse, Providing the canvas to paint over the bruise You left on me, An impression, Less like a pattern, than a fist through drywall, I fall Through the barricades you laid to make me stay But I remain determined to never let you have your way. You can stay in the dirt where you lay, You're dead to me, You've been dead for years, Tears dried up years ago, There you go Creeping into every lyric But choosing not to ever hear it Like a virus, This torrential curse on me This city still has the stink of you, This memory still has you in views, This is not new, you remain you Unchanging you A mountain of a mole hill, It's a struggle, You're like some cliff to climb, Like some bouncer, wide and six foot nine, I find no satisfaction defeating, Just another scar your leaving, I take this self beating like you taught me, Place the nail into my hand as you cross me, You stalk me, unconsciously, Cause I do this to myself, Constantly, Is this growing up, To build up walls like you and your father before you, This memory becomes you, Becomes just some tool to abuse, All excused, boys will be boys will be men will be products of the past, taught like a class, To abuse until the last, Son chooses to say I will not turn into you, I will not turn into you I will not turn into you My muse,