Is this what I’m living for?
The applause,
The head nods
And ignored flaws,
Marketing my life
As perfect in your eyes,
I’ve sold you lies,
It’s the only way you’ll notice me,
Dishonest marketing,
Painted on perfection,
Practically profane,
Putting pride upon the package,
Putting shine upon the stains,


I’ve told you lies,
I’ve sold you metaphors
Sold you sorrow to make you stay,
Make you listen a little longer to the verses and what they say,
But fuck the masks and half assed acts of confidence,
lacking any anything near common sense,
I just want you ears,
I just want someone to hear,


But I’m done screaming to the void,
My throat is sore and I haven’t slept for days,
I threw cash at the problem in hopes something would change,
It stayed the same,
I’m still the same boy singing so his dad would be proud,
But I’m under blankets in the studio and the musics way to loud,
I hope your proud,

But I’m just too old to care now
I’m just a child playing with his dads things,
He’s still a ghost in the corner of the board room,
And I’m still hoping he knows what I mean,
But he’s not listening,
He would have cut the chord by now,
But I still hear his four chords in the background,
And I’m still screaming to drown them out

I’m never going to be the one,
Singing on your stage,
I’m never going to be the son
Proving his father's name,
I’m never going to stand,
Where you stood before,
Your footprints are not my path,
I’m walking on my god-damned shore,

Despite what I once told you,
I really care what others have to say,
About my lyrics and music
and how I wrote night and day,
That’s a lie,
I often lose the drive
to put the pen to paper,
I compromise with reused beats
And old lyrics I put aside for later,
Like a copy printer
outputting the same four chords like clockwork,
And I sit back a half assed backing track is all I have to show for this lack of work,
But Perhaps I’m being too hard on myself,
These lyrics are all mine,
But I still hear that same voice from time to time,

They Let me know how much they did
and how little they accomplished,
And how I’ll end up a dead beat just like them,
And do you know what the worst part is,
I’m still paying the cost for all the scars,
They are the only things they gave me,
And despite the pain inside my brain
I still ache for them to show some bravery,

I should burn the bridge when I cross it
Set fire to my past,
Ignite the path that causes me pain,
And finally cross to a better act,
A future without the crap,,
Trash the habits that anchor me in,
And scrap the memories that made me give a damn life of sin,

I’m moving forward,
Notebook in tow,
Writing down lessons learned,
Making therapy in the notes,

If my footprints lay
sacrilege in my life,
I’ll leave it as it lies,
There will be no prayers tonight,