I'm falling, But it's alright, It's a peaceful night, Taking a trip off a cliff, I'll take a sip on the way down, I'm sincerely grateful for the fall, It's been a while since I felt gravity, I've lived in the air for too long, And the approaching ground is a sight to see, I heard an old man say he could feel the rain, But I've been dry since that cold night, And since I was immersed I haven't been the same, And I don't think I want to be dry tonight, Was it a monday evening that you saw me first? You got to have that first sight feel While I rehearsed, Some catchy line as you caught my eye, I wont lie, I've never been good with the punch line, I've never been good with first impressions, I'm always stumbling over my words, So let this song be a warm reception, As I put some heart into the verse, Excuse me for a second, I left my jaw on the floor, You pulled my attention to your dimension I Have never been so lost before, I’m Enraptured with these nights with you I’m enthralled with this abyss, And they sky’s never been so blue, Since that first kiss, I’ve been told love is hell, love is war, Love is everything but this ecstasy, I don’t think they've been in love before, I don't think they know what love means Cause ever since I said I love you, I’ve been walking deeper into this sea, I’m swimming deeper into you, And I won’t come up to breathe, I won’t even dream to leave, Cause we made our vows before the light And I won’t turn back tonight

I'm afraid I write to fast I'm not thinking about what I want to say, But when I think too much, I can't figure out what I'm supposed to say, But I'm thinking too much About whether I'm competent enough to try? Am I competent, I guess that's what I'm trying to say, I'm typing out second guesses onto a screen, Screaming at the ink when I have nothing left to sing, But I don't even know if anyone knows what i mean, Am I competent I look towards the greats like Aesop and Brother Ali, To try and speak oh so eloquently In every phrase that I choose to sing, But am I competent It never seems like the words I sing reach their ears, But is the purpose of my voice to reach my peers Or should I just make music just to conquer my fears, To see if I'm competent, There's this voice in the back of my head, That tells me to leave the artist for dead And try to make music easier for them to comprehend, But am I competent? I can say it's not my style, That I want to challenge myself for a while, But after a decade of throwing music to the funeral pyre I have to ask Am I competent, It's the battle of every starving artist starting their craft, To have to spend a decade looking like an ass, Trying to get someone anyone to listen to just one track, To know if your competent In the studio, every song feels like a smash, But then I listen back and hear every note clash, And feel like I just spent 4 hours to look like an ass Am I competent And I write these songs to try and get someone to understand, But I fill them with metaphors like hiding purpose in the sand, And I don't get the response that I planned and I doubt Am I competent It's like that is the new artistic wall, That there is so much for people to listen to that they cant listen to it all And you are just that somebody they use to know so no they won't listen at all Am I competent I'm not mad, honestly, I stopped being mad after Chapter One, I sunk my soul in an album an i think i may have sold one, But I realized that I'm not an american idol, I'm just someone's son I know I'm competent, I just have to keep pushing this boulder up the hill, Drink from the sound til I've had my fill,, Put my 2 cents into the jar, smile and take my pills, I am competent I have to remind myself every now and then, Cause I write til there's not a drop left in the pen, So i have to believe I'm competent and there's a spark left within I am competent But it's harder and harder to accept that Cause it feels like my peers are on the fast track And I'm just falling further and further back I'm competent It's becoming like a chat, an affirmation to live by, Cause I need to keep repeating so I can stop retreating and try, And accept that I'm competent enough to stop listening to my lies, I'm competent, And I am going to keep at it til I die.

Is there a monster in this closet, screaming at the walls, Im Selling Sympathy for devil's like it's a bucket of aderall, Trying to act all tough, but it's just a chihuahua on a chain, Too small, no bite, just running round in circles deep inside my brain Call me call me call me something,I'm running out if words that rhyme, And I'm running out of time, spent to much drowning in sublime, But This is a good time to break bread with me myself and i I'll turn the music down a second, tell them I'm doing fine, Can I keep the words buried in my throat, Cause their spilling waterfalls from my lips and I'm about to choke I'm drowning in these synonyms, I'm swimming in the verse So let me take some time to free my mind, let me and this track converse So if you catch me in the ally way with some hardcover novel in my hands, Demon hunter blasting from my parallel parked sedan Leave me to satisfy my implicit need for something fantastic and divine, Cause there's not much of me left, too much chaos in my mind, I'll spend some time with Tolkien, let a dragon cauterize these wounds, Leave me legions of fairy tails to free me from my tomb, Cause this five leaf clover is looking black as I seek comfort in these lagoons, So I'll be a child for a weekend, leave me to the toons, Tell them I'm doing fine There's a hel of a lot of mystery to why I'm sitting here today, You'd think by now this fragile mind would finallu give away, But fuck it if I'm not doing quite alright tonight, I'm scripting metaphors for these demons and writing away the fight, Let me shed some light on how I built these walls to keep me safe, I used bricks and bricks of fiction and plastered over my mistakes So excuse me as I Crack a joke or two at my expense, It's the only thing that keeps me sane as I turn this wall into a fence, Tell them I'm doing fine I'm scribbling nonsense over the stain where I spilled my guts onto the page, Parallel lines of blue are the only barriers to my mistakes, So I'll doodle heroes in the margins to add character to my rage, Cause blacks the only color that adequately addresses my domain, I'm a pen drop Poet, ink is the medium I need, But with nights last call before me, I need fiction to send me to my dreams, I need to know when to quit it and finally end the scene So I'll cast my nightmares behind the curtains and my dreams upon the screen

Not since Adam saw Eve, Has a couple matched so perfectly, This isn't some dime store novel romance, This isn't a Harley Quinn crush, Though you must be a Joker with that grin, Your are my rapture My succubus when i give in Hey now, hey now, We aren’t some fly by night disco trip, We are pilots flying out Hey now, Hey now, Are you an angel in disguise, Or are we just flying through the night I was a prey in flight You were a huntress in the night, I was looking for a safe place to land I saw your vision in a dream, I was chasing some potential memory, But you swooped and saved the day This is us, Sitting on the edge of the world Two towers against the sun, Immovable but for the glory of our love Drifting, castaways, Or popping champagne, We are fighting for it all, Into love we fall

Is life meant to be perpetually absurd? It's hard to see a point but Nihilism is a dirty word, I feel the mighty pulse of this grand collapse, Marking the beat like the falling of an axe, Fake news will be our battle cry, As the ticker tape tells tales of life's nonsensical reply It's like fireworks aimed at our eyes I’m optimistic the burning down will be a good time And we give in To halfhearted opinions And we We fade As we embrace their dominion, We drink in the breaking news, Breaking us down And we fall We accept to drown, Oh no We get our news crafted by the uniquely uninformed, Quick snippets without context to fuel hatred from the self-absorbed, We only give heed to the elected or the blessed Unequivocally undeserving of the lives that they affect Is it so obscene to believe in something tangible and clear The science that evolves us is hated by those with the nation's ear You think that they would only exploit us or deprive But they exist to enlighten and revive, Why us this an attack on your beliefs? We don't want to dismantle your alters reprieve, We simply want to see the truth on the tv We want to stop seeing news outlets profiting from disease, If you could only see the forest for the trees, You might want to stand with us while we bring corporations and politicians to their knees, We are fighting for the victims to stand up Pickets in hand, with no plan but to stand Or walk away handcuffed Cause here we stand up for the weak, And even if the news lies, the people will hear them speak, But If all falls with the nights last calls, give me one last drop of alcohol, I'll drink one more for those that you didn't hear, Cause you were too scared that we were coming, you didn't see the tears, You only heard the screams in anger, the righteous indignation, You only listened to the radio station, You didn't see the truth before you eyes, You only heard the lies, You have taken a slow fade to grey, Accepting the nation's disarray, With a smile like it's all ok, But you are relaxing on a world in decay As you take the slow fade to grey, I saw on facebook the other day that covid 19 was a ploy to keep Donald Trump out of office, I don't know what the worst part is, That there are people not accepting that a virus is running rampant in front of them, Or that they still believe in trump, I mean what will it take for them to get this into their think brains, The one truthful thing trump has said was that he could shoot a person on camera and the people would still love him, But ok, listen to fox news, Everything is ok the world isnt on fire get out a pitcher of ice tea, a blanket, lay down and soak in the UV rays, The news could tell them to drink bleach, chase it with mercury, and then jump from the nearest skyscraper, And they would say "now why didn't I think of that that sounds great, let me put on my red trucker hat and flag pants and get on that, I don't know, they won't listen to this, I'm a bisexual nihilistic liberal Democratic socialist, I mean… I'm basically the devil.

I put effort in how I looked today, It's a start I took an hour or two to focus on my art, I picked up clothes and swept away the mess, And explored for a bit what "well kept" meant, I spent a few more minutes in the shower, Took a moment or two to smell the trees flowers, I paused for a second to soak in the silence, Cleared my mind of all the chaos and violence, We all do what we can to face tomorrow A few breaths of clean air to drown the sorrow, And spend time on dreams we had to let go, The paths that lead to joy we never got to show, Sometimes the solitude is hard to take, The mask of this introvert is about to break, Im alone with my thoughts, I'm aware of my own breath, I'm overwhelmed at the thought if what comes next I take time to explore some self care, To find a place of peace and find myself there, So give me air, Give me air Call me Icarus, chasing the light that burned me raw, In hopes that it might melt me down and clear my flaws, I'm stepping over discarded drafts of dreams, Inked upon parchment left with promise in the seams, And I'm chasing something that looks like glory in the end, I'm done playing pretend, Cause the solitude may have left me burned, But I'm running towards the light like lessons never learned

You say there's Blood on your hands that no soap can defeat Like bubbling on the water betraying the monster underneath, you've got sins aplenty, malice on the mind, You're distrustful of the mirror but I don't mind, I got 42 regrets on a shelf to the right, A myriad of moments that keep me up at night There's food burning in the oven, a rotting in the fridge But there's voices here saying I've got reasons to live We're running round a sun We're running round a sun, We can fall in if we want, Feel free to store your skeletons wherever you'd like I'll keep my back open if you'd like to store your knife Our broken pieces fit together, we're compatibility insane, For all your crimes and misdemeanors, I'll share the blame You've seen the holes in all my stories I tell The mistakes in all my lyrics all the times that I fell But We'll take our medication together as we're losing our mind You can etch your name into my skin, I wont mind We're running round a sun We're running round a sun We can fall if you'd like There's no misstep on your path, No sin in your past That will dilute my obsession to make this relationship last, I'm signing my name, I'm closing the gap, I'm investing all of me now and forgetting the past

You generously gave me, More than I can take, Tearing at my insides, I scratching at my scars I’m about to break, I'm tearing at my insides, I’m properly torn up and pissed off, I’m hanging from the ledge, So tell me how much you love me, I’m waiting for your pledge, Is that you in the background, Writing down all my flaws, Every misstep, every mistake Each deviation from the cause, Have you taken all you want from me? Have you finally had your fill? when I finally want you around, You come in for the kill, In every moment of doubt, feeling of want, I hear your voice in the darkness, Your gnawing voice, your mocking taunt, Telling me that i’m worthless, Your telling me to leave Forcing me to give in, Throwing my dreams into the sea, Feeling like I'm worthless, When I fall into the dreaming, You put thoughts in my head How the world could be a better place, If they all found me dead, But I'm pushing you in the ocean, Letting the waves wash you away, I'm taking a stand for my sanity And choosing this time to stay,

You were a traveler, I the brave captain, Taking your hand as you asked for leave, And it was only fair that I helped you out to sea, Oh compassionate me, Oh deranged, delusional, delirious, compassionate me, Taking you deeper out to sea, No map to guide us, only waves, Only days and weeks into the deep, Only our desperation, and my determination and need for sleep, You trusted these shaky hands, To turn the wheel towards home, But I had no need for shelter, only danger, Only stories to fill this tome, And I took your trusting hands With kind words and empty eyes, As I take this old ship to the deep under stormy skies, Sorry if I've said sorry before, As I stumble half dead out the door, And I fall, slowly spinning, Slowly drowning in these tears, The beating in this chest timing out the years I was a passenger looking for peace, you a captain lost at sea, I thought that all my journey need was a little bit of me, And maybe if we sailed the course we'd find dry land, To park, disembark, and make our home hand in hand, But that's not what you had planned, When we wrecked, I tried to stitch your wounds, When you said you wanted death, I tried to hide your tomb, When you threw me in the deep, I did not scream or weep, I smiled and said, "if that's what you think is best," I laughed a i sunk deep, thinking this all must be a jest, It's a tale as old as time, This mess you made of mine, These star crossed roles we play, All the good that has been done All the wars we could've won Taken by the ocean and its waves, It's a tale as old as time, A trip inside of my mind, A rhyme about how I took it all away, All the good that has been done, All the wars we could've won, Washed by the waters and the blade, It was a chaotic, twisting, journey, A path among the violent currents and waves, I was heading for the rocks in a hurry, And you had been trying to calm me for days, You wanted to be the healer, savior, and lover All wrapped up with a charming bow But I wasn't looking for any gifts you'd given me, I was wanting to sail these seas alone I was wrong to lead you on, And you were wrong to try and change me, There was no lullaby or song, That would calm the war raging on inside me, You said there was peace inside of you eyes, But you never bothered to look inside of mine, So I'm sorry for leaving you with only what could have been, I know it's not what you had wanted, But I am more than just some game to win, And you are more than a prey to be hunted, So I sent you out to find another ship to board I'm sure you'll a captain there to lead Someone less damaged with a more noble course, And I'll be looking for another song to sing So sing me a song of calmer waters, Tell me how I could live to see the sun, Tell me a story of the future, Sing me of what we could have done, Sing me a song Now here I am, years gone by, In a home with a job and a wife, Every now and then I still think of the man I used to be, Captain aboard his ship deep out to sea, With mile and miles between who I am and who I was, I can only think of you and the mess I made of us, When you were aboard this ship of mine, When you watched as I sailed with no safe harbor in mind, And as I pour the rest of him down the drain, And wash the last bit of rust out in the rain, As I set my ship out in softer seas, I raise the sails to hope and dream, Maybe this time I'll head towards dawn I make this story into song,

You set me up to fall for you, Priceless pieces of perfection, lined up, You follow through I know now that you were falling too, An myriad of moments Leading me to you, I took the long road, From Florida to Colorado, While you were waiting in Wisconsin at home, And I was spinning, speeding off to nowhere, While you were singing ballads to the moon There’s a long road, With my name carved upon it, I never thought I’d fall in love again You took me from my car crash, Set my bones and soul, And now i’m singing love songs in the cold