Hello here I am, alone on the ledge Everybody knows I'm dying to fly Hello here I am alone again Everybody knows I'm waiting for the sky. I never knew how this voice of mine could carry me so far, I’m still watching my friends enter the stratosphere while i’m just tryin to get around by car, And it’s just as well, i don't really enjoy a stage I prefer the dingy closets over leading my own parade I can get why some at the top give up the spotlight So many listening to every word you say can give a star stage fright And it's so much more comfortable choosing to teach rather than to lead, And i don’t know what path is the right one for me, Hello here I am, alone on the ledge Everybody knows I'm dying to fly Hello here I am alone again Everybody knows I'm waiting for the sky. No one seems to really care what a nonbinary poet seems to think, Like i’m a old patron at the bar and the tender just wants to give me my drink and leave, Seems to me its best keeping my thoughts to myself, But here I am at the mic again pulling these old notebooks down from the shelf, And i’m calling out my scars by name, I’m giving the poet a stage, 5 albums in and I haven’t run out of stupid things to say, And yet the question still remains, And yet the question still remains Hello here I am, alone on the ledge Everybody knows I'm dying to fly Hello here I am alone again Everybody knows I'm waiting for the sky. It’s been a lonely walk and I can’t yet see the finish line, So many have put their last thoughts to sound, and I have yet to finish mine, I’m yet again spending 5 minutes to talk about myself, And I’ve always say preach what you know, But I’ve just begun to understand the face in the mirror, So maybe I should have left these thoughts on the shelf, Maybe I should have left this gig alone, I’ve got 20 years of hypocrisy left to atone, And I still only sing these songs at home, But the Pendrop is only me and there's no one else to pick up the phone Hello here I am, alone on the ledge Everybody knows I'm dying to fly Hello here I am alone again Everybody knows I'm waiting for the sky.

I blame the church for my disorders, I know it’s wrong But I can’t help how I feel, Cut to ribbons by the Order, Leave it to God, Not the parents, not the pills, The ultimate scapegoat, if He doesn’t come through, Then it’s a test, If i gets better, God provides, But I confess, I’m just processing, Excuse me while I speak my mind, It’s the only thing that gets me through the night, I’m just screaming at the empty sky, Cause no ones up there to care what I say tonight I blame god for a lot, I guess the scapegoat provides, Catching all of the hate, That bearded ghost in the sky, But the image bares weight, Of 25 years of questions i can’t face, 25 years of scars coated in grace, 25 years of believing he holds my fate I can’t depend on some holy net to catch me when I fall, I’m caught up in in the tangible, seeking meaning in it all, And echoes of the pulpit seek to pull me from the call Of a brand new perspective that doesn’t use jesus to explain it all, I'm burning down the bridges to the deity I left behind, And I'm torching all his images in this atheistic deicide You'll find me at the canvas, Painting over all the lies I am done with this bullshit, it's time to decide, I’m just processing, processing, But i’m just processing

You hear screaming coming from behind those southern doors, Blood on blood, at each other's throats No bible belt tourniquet can stop this bleeding, No prayer circle can silence these thoughts, She's close to the edge, he's playing with knives, He's shutting down, all she does is cry All they do is fight, except at church They're all grins and loving eyes Can't these see how this hurts It's not my fault any more Please This nail in the flesh, This biblical curse, These eyes on the move, This leather bound hearse can you see it now, Like scars on the skin It's bleach on the canvas, The acid within, It's a history of violence, With White Jesus support, Poster child of deliverance, Sanded down with words too coarse, But you can't shake the hindrance It follows in the wake, It falls out from within us Like shadows at day break, This is a belt around the throat, A gag in the mouth, Bound at the wrists, To the past where you made your house, I’m chained to the earth, By this crimson thread, This poison in a drip, Death by a religious dread, It's not my fault any more Please It's a long hard road to forget the script Cause is fed to you like a morphine iv drip Comforting as It goes, but grows dangerous in time, But you have to tell them that everything's fine Having the good word repeatedly slammed into your skull Pound by pound scripture til you hear his call, when you start hearing voices, you know who to phone, It's 1-800 white jesus judgment in your home Execution by inches, in too deep to bail Conviction hammering like golf ball sized hail, And we're all buried under their stained glass castles Countless bodies falling in by the lies of those homophobic assholes And it's getting even harder to drown them in this drought Their preaching viral lies that you can't drown out But we're not giving them an inch of give Cause they never gave us a chance to live, Best fly the flag half mast For this Christian soldier, Gave up bowed heads And heavy shoulders Stopped listening To what the minister told her, Found a path Where no one could mold her,

They say I’m Six feet from the precipice, And only by the whims of an unseen hand, Have I not descended To the depths where Asamov and Carlin Trade stories with the damned, Seems a bit dire, To be courting hellfire, Edwards damning me to the pit So I'll curse God for the hell of it So hit ignition, Burn me down Lightning shot from my hometown I'm a monster was a pastor’s kid Broke out from the closet where your demons hid I'm a fucked up abomination A queer poet In a Christian nation I'm everything that will damn my soul So with a smile on my face, I'm digging my hole, Keep digging Keep digging Digging my hole Keep digging Keep digging I suppose a globally accepted extremist conditioning faith, Is better than being forced to tattoo religious symbols on my face But i can’t shake the religious anxiety that was baked into my bones, By the fire spat from the forked tongue evangelist in our home, What do you do when you are told every choice has to be for God, That every move you make has been dictated, every deviation flawed, That any inkling of free thought is satan’s mirage, when I stepped outside the church I saw the monster in the facade, So call it devilish temptation, Pulling me from this religious condemnation Is it impending doom or glorious transformation, Cause i’m breaking these chains feeling scandalous liberation Cause freedom is worth this potential damnation That's the story that i’ve heard since birth, Servant to the lord in fear of the hearse, Beholden to a theist’s impression the words, In this misogynistic, homophobic baptist church, Putting theories down like they're etched in stone, 2000 year old hate in the people's homes No tears were shed for those that they hurt In this misogynistic, homophobic baptist church, So hit ignition, Burn me down Lightning shot from my hometown I'm a monster was a pastor’s kid Broke out from the closet where your demons hid I'm a fucked up abomination A queer poet In a Christian nation I'm everything that will damn my soul So with a smile on my face, I'm digging my hole, Keep digging Keep digging Digging my hole Keep digging Keep digging

Sitting fantasizing about killing this feeling Like driving a hole through my future headstone, Taking a bat to every demon who ever dared to make my heart their home I want to give you the script But it’s complicated It’s scribbles on a whiteboard Words that just don’t fit I want to show you my world But It’s complicated But I swear it makes sense At least in my own head All the pieces mesh, The plot concludes Upon a stage in New York And the light doesn’t burn me anymore The Light Doesn't burn me anymore And I’m dancing upon a grave That used to bear my name And I’m feeling like I can finally bear this weight My lyrics may have scared my friends away, And to me it’s all the same, My music carries on my fallen name My music carried on my fallen name I keep thinking back on every obstacle in my path I blame myself for those who pulled back Thinking I must be Too far gone To deep into the bushes for those to play along A poet far too unique But maybe I didn't need them when I was feeling weak Or at least I hope I can find my own two feet And March my own path Far in the deep I want to give you the script But it’s complicated It’s scribbles on a whiteboard Words that just don’t fit I want to show you my world But It’s complicated But I swear it makes sense At least in my own head All the pieces mesh, The plot concludes Upon a stage in New York And the light doesn’t burn me anymore The Light Doesn't burn me anymore

They They were a ghost inside the room Is a silhouette Memories of everything I want do They They're in every corner of my tomb Rattling chains Scattered voices judging moves They were memories of me memories of you memories of those who achieved more than I could ever do They are hiding in my mind The corner of my eyes Watching Waiting Waiting to see what I can do I feel like I'm on a climb Barefoot scaling rocks Cliffside Carrying the weight of all the expectations and doubt Perhaps that's why I'm tired all the time Waging wars inside my mind Trying to earn some prestige or clout They They were a ghost inside the room Is a silhouette Memories of everything I want do They They're in every corner of my tomb Rattling chains Scattered voices judging moves Chasing some apparition of me Who could do nothing but achieve Who had no trouble with the arduous climb And I'm scaling with no rest and no rope And it's all I can do to cope Perhaps that's why my body's been aching all the time I've got climbers in my home, All the stories in the tome That say this shouldn't take so goddamn long, But it's all fiction in the end Interpretations of the dead All I can do is make the stories into songs They They were a ghost inside the room Is a silhouette Memories of everything I want do They They're in every corner of my tomb Rattling chains Scattered voices judging moves

Why can't I slow down, I'm taking chances That I might drown I’m Writing checks I can't cash, I'm falling deeper Deeper into the black, So I fly into the sun Burning myself for fun I jump from cliffs to head east I'm screaming my lungs out Screaming out to find peace I'm losing hold of my life Choking on the marrow Losing sense and sorrow Fleeing what I need Losing sense of time, Looking towards tomorrow These bones are feeling hollow, Look on as I bleed Why can’t I hold true, I feel it pull me from from you, I have to pull my ink from the black The knives from my back And though the past is painting color, I can't bare to look back, So I fly into the sun Burning myself down for fun I jump from cliffs to head east I'm screaming my lungs out Screaming out to find my peace

I grew up in the south, the north, a little bit of the west, Many different perspectives and social constructs, Boiling down to the same basic concept, Know your place, advert your eyes, keep to yourself, Cause in the end, no one honestly cares how you’ve been, It’s all a script running in the back of your head, When to speak, When to not, but never to listen, Just to open your mouth and spout the great American tradition, How are you, fine, how you been, great, We should hang, I’m busy, but thanks, Maybe another time, maybe another place, Rinse, repeat, say your grace, You ever get life advice from a good ol boy from Arkansas? All southern drawl droning on, all I hear is blah blah blah, Black sheep in a family of the questionably unique, All sprinting from each other and we’ve all gone too deep, It’s the true mixing pot, Family splits and bolts to other states other lives, Blends in, hides out, Like they are bailing to save their hides Their all still Families in the same skins, But their all Strangers within, How are you, fine, how you been, great, We should hang, I’m busy, but thanks, Maybe another time, maybe another place, Rinse, repeat, say your grace, How are you, fine, how you been, great, We should hang, I’m busy, but thanks, Maybe another time, maybe another place, Rinse, repeat, say your grace, And that is all good and fine, That’s the American way, You either close ranks, Or spread and change, And the one constant in it all That we'll never change Well keep raising our walls Either way

Dear Mr. Simmons Your son is dead. He was always a little weird, Not right in his head, He never knew where to stand, Never could find a place where he fit in Like a puzzle piece Cut short at the ends A little mistake in the code Led to this end They're something a little different Something you don't understand But know he's in a better place Not trying to be the better man Mr Simmons Take my hand You never tried to understand, That you child couldn't be that man Mr. Simmons As I claimed my name and face I killed him with these hands Mr Simmons You raised me well But I can't take another day With you saying I'm going to hell Mr Simmons Your son is dead Perhaps it'll be easier Without you in my head Mr Simmons I hope you're well Leave your best to the fallen And bid me farewell. I'm something a little different I'm Something you don't understand But know I'm in a better place Not trying to be that man Mr Simmons Take my hand You never tried to understand, That I didn't wanna be that man Mr. Simmons

Let me go over the syllabus today We've passed out the last omnibus of pain To go over in detail why the artist is hurting this day They won't be doing OK The journey to the deathbed begins with us charting our mistakes, Making note of every misstep and hit took to the face, We follow bloody roads to hell with reckless resolve And make sure to throw every stone at our peers as we dissolve, We're not doing okay-ay-ay We're just feeding the flames Listen to what we say It's all in the omnibus of pain We're experts at taking our family down with us as we leave Quick to take a bite of the hand giving us reprieve And we like the look of flames burning down our home We write it all down in our tome It's all, it's all, it's all in the omnibus of pain We're not doing okay-ay-ay We're just feeding the flames Listen to what we say It's all in the omnibus of pain It's all in the omnibus of pain It's all, it's all, it's all In the omnibus of pain Everyone knows we are breaking at our fault, We don't feel as though we are worth our salt, Seems the sculpture left a crack in the clay We're not going to be ok We're not doing okay-ay-ay We're just feeding the flames To what we say It's all in the omnibus of pain It's all in the omnibus of pain It's all, it's all, it's all In the omnibus of pain The journey to the deathbed begins with us charting our mistakes, Making note of every misstep and hit took to the face, We follow bloody roads to hell with reckless resolve And make sure to throw every stone at our peers as we dissolve, We're not doing okay-ay-ay We're just feeding the flames To what we say It's all in the omnibus of pain It's all in the omnibus of pain It's all, it's all, it's all In the omnibus of pain

Do crimes Live well Follow your glory straight to hell If staying in your box kills the vibe, Than hail yourself and imbibe, Cause we are all sinners in the book, Looking for joy to beat the clock, And deep inside, if you choose to look, You might just hate that box, You might just hate the show Hate your soul white as snow Cause if it was up to me, I’d prefer to sends color into the glow So find purpose in the daily grind, And if grinding gets you by, Than grind baby grind, Find your sinful shine, We’re all heathens down below, We heard the Pilots say, I know I cursed that God More than once or twice today, So I'll accept you dirty sinners Commit your sins tonight Let's throw eternity into the blender, And war against the night Lets war against the right, Fight that Americana jesus Deep into the starry night, Cause your heaven didn't please us Only Satan knows how to treat us right An omnipotent God wouldn't need us So I'll choose how I spend my nights We can choose how to be us Do crimes Live well Follow your glory straight to hell If staying in your box kills the vibe, Than hail yourself and imbibe, Cause we are all sinners in the book, Looking for joy to beat the clock, And deep inside, if you choose to look, You might just hate that box, Besides I never liked the light, Call me Lestrade in girly tights Enby, Queer, and pasty white, I’m a vamp that glows red in sunlight I might as well burn from the cross Cause there’s no holy threshold that I’d like to walk across I'm a rolling stone that gathers no moss But boulders over every line that they say I shouldn't cross I’m not hoping to be chosen to be on God’s guest list, Given God’s blessing, I thought “I should probably bin this” Cause if you offer me the Blood, I’ll ask for a cold guinness, Cause no Holy Gate is worth you getting in my business, Destined for hell or glory I honestly don’t want to know, Cause when you start getting in our lives, the hypocrisy starts to show, It's like you giving your opinion is a black light starting to glow Every fallen seed that bleeds is lit up for the world to know Quietly going about our so called depraved lives, Just trying to get us and ours through the day alive, but because we didn’t hail mary and confess every thought, We’re apparently reveling in the hell and sin that we wrought, Well I have a thought, Maybe leave us the fuck alone, Keep your faith to yourselves, And keep your shit out of our homes, Keep your nose out of our business, And stop shaking that dirty ratchet old tome, Stop caring about our fields and the roads that we roam Your faith ain't our laws your church aint our home, Your faith ain't our laws your church aint our home, Do crimes Live well Follow your glory straight to hell If staying in your box kills the vibe, Than hail yourself and imbibe, Cause we are all sinners in the book, Looking for joy to beat the clock, And deep inside, if you choose to look, You might just hate that box,

It all seems so quiet here, No one wants to say a damn thing Everyone is on a razors edge, Too afraid of what pain a word can bring, And you're waiting with baited breath For the peace to lapse So you can let it all go And watch the world collapse You're feeling shit on Shut down Fucked up Drug down Trying to keep composure As everyone let's out the hate Go ahead light up my life Detonate Mark me down as a lit fuse Not content to being used, No room to vent, i’m feeling discarded, Feeling relieved that the fire started, It all goes down like a pile of lit bricks No moderate to mediate Not dealer to deliver quick fix So stand up, with lit bics, Two Middle fingers raised Like a badass bitch Say fuck you to that unforgiving God and fuck you to that undisciplined authority No qualms about judgment or what your glory might be, You only have to Light Up Burn down Get blood on that Sunday gown As everyone let's out the hate Go ahead and say fuck the state It's all gonna Burn away Like a dry ass tree on Christmas day So as this fire starts to blaze, Light Up My life, Detonate Start it now, Light the fuse We're all fed up with being used So we're tearing it all down brick by brick we'll take a pound of flesh to set the wick You can see the red glow at night The horizon ablaze with fire light, Lovely how it burns the blight So Detonate and Light Up my life Start it now, Light the fuse We're all fed up with being used So we're tearing it all down brick by brick we'll take a pound of flesh to set the wick You can see the red glow at night The horizon ablaze with fire light, Lovely how it burns the blight So Detonate and Light Up my life Start it now, Light the fuse We're all fed up with being used So we're tearing it all down brick by brick we'll take a pound of flesh to set the wick You can see the red glow at night The horizon ablaze with fire light, Lovely how it burns the blight So Detonate and Light Up my life Start it now light the fuse Start it now light the fuse We're fed up with being fed up with being used Start it now light the fuse Start it now light the fuse So we'll tear it all down brick by brick we'll take a pound of flesh to set the wick Start it now light the fuse Start it now light the fuse We're fed up with being fed up with being used Start it now light the fuse Start it now light the fuse So we'll tear it all down brick by brick we'll take a pound of flesh to set the wick

The bass is fuel to my heart beat, I feel the lyrics in my veins, The beat cuts through the pressure And the music is firing neurons in my brain, The lead is stitching wounds As the harmonies mend the skin Every lyric relieves the pressure Giving life to the dead within I can finally breathe I can finally breathe I am alive, I am alive, I bought some time, With Honesty, Painting over my pain with rhyme, I am alive, I am alive Give me a sign that this is worth it, Worth more than all the blood and tears Give me a sign that this is worth it Worth more than these stolen years My pen strokes are drawing life into my skin, An ounce of ink is a tonic, my artistic medicine, I take my pills with a tube of acrylic, the graphite calls me well, My sickness is a canvas missing lines from the ink in this well, I left my soul at the altar I left my heart in the past In the midst of anger and abuse I never spoke of the broken glass, And something in me died In the hills of that small town The young prince stopped dreaming And buried his stars and broken crown I can finally breathe I can finally breathe I am alive, I am alive, I bought some time, With Honesty, Painting over my pain with rhyme, I am alive, I am alive Give me a sign that this is worth it, Worth more than all the blood and tears Give me a sign that this is worth it Worth more than these stolen years But I am alive, I am alive, I’m learning to dream Learning to breathe And I am alive, I am alive, I found my reasons not to leave,

Is there no secrets left in the margins of the handbook Feel free to pull back skin and take a good long look I attacked all my demons with hopeless abandon, Jumped medians to manage, get em in before the “and one” Put some plasma in the graphite so everybody knows, This languishing circuitous argumentative prose, So Put a word count cap on this rhythmical speech, Before I get thrown out with the filth by the genre police, It took me a while to accept who I am, This pale ass enby in the body of a white man, Try to get you to take the heart from my hand, Forget for a second that there’s no foundation where I stand. Forget for a second that I wrote this at my day job, Stealing any second from the workhorse I came in on, Drinking Yerba Mate and Ego boosts to stay strong, no starving artist, just feeling this drought for days on end Where does this one begin I'm needing a friend Shock and awe tactics are what was prescribed By the local folk artists playing by the fire at night Just give em what they don't know they need and take flight While they play four chords over vanishing delights, I don't know if they know what the poetry needs But then again the Poet is the one naive I'll eat my words as inspiration leaves No bardic adventure having wine with the queen, Where does this one begin I'm needing a friend I might be crazy thinking there's glory in this, Thinking I'll save some soul if I just wrote a bit, Like my prose contains some medicinal cocktail Like it can be more than just the process this song entails, Like maybe I'm just 16 bars from liftoff Like I'll raise from the dead Like Boris Karloff And not remain stagnant where I stay, But I won't know unless I play Where does this one begin I'm needing a friend

Signing my soul away to sound Silly as it seems I'm scripting out my epitaph To find that glory in the strings Where melody abounds I'm putting money in the dreams Signing my soul away to sound These are my needful things Sewing up the suture, Where I put my heart upon the page, Letting crimson font illuminate The space where I sealed my fate And the spinning wheel turns I'm wrapped up in the chords They sew my soul into scripture To find a peace the sound affords And if the structures falls And I fail to make the crawl I’ll rest upon the fact That at least I joined the call And every song shows The sound is all i know And it may be too late to turn Cause it's far too late to go And the crimson chords show The contents of my soul Written on the parchment Like Red upon the snow And nothing can break the cycle I'm in too deep to know Am I'm cursed to fail or prosper But I know enough to go, I hope my words can add To the story others told, And my voice joins the chorus Of the other bardic souls Cause When all is said in done And I shed this mortal skin I’ll give you my final wish Just let the record spin And if the structures falls And I fail to make the crawl I’ll rest upon the fact That at least I joined the call And every song shows The sound is all i know And it may be too late to turn Cause it's far too late to go