1. |
Image of a Soul
04:40
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He forgets to check himself in the mirror,
To see if his face comes out any clearer,
He doesn't recognize
This life of lies
Stacked up in his soul
That's supposed to bring God nearer
He's decided to do what he's told
Even when it leaves him cold
Even though it scars
And mares
The image of their heart
It's better to fit the mold
But everybody knows he's ill
His performance doesn't fit the bill,
He's hiding every quirk and detail,
So nobody knows that he failed, it's all tall tales,
When he looked in the mirror and questioned God's art,
The mirror's glares were daggers in the heart,
Cause he knew it was his skin leading him to sin,
He just didn't know why God hates what he is,
He's perplexed by the path
Vexed by the Masks
Trapped by the suit he wears
He's locked in his skin
They're chained within
It's just the weight he bares
And he's done saying all his prayers,
He is Hoping someone's out there
That they could explain this to him
That they could see who's within
They saw what a good man was
They saw that it's not what they want,
The soul was not the church's to judge,
The blade of shame should have been blunt,
But the words of the church
were sharp,
And sin was cut in his skin
And the Good Word tasted burnt
Seems God didn't come within
It took too many years to find their name,
It took too long to pull themselves from the flames,
But They found their identity,
Far from the righteous serenity,
This is who they were meant to be,
It doesn't need to make much sense to see
Where content is, we coexist
It's where you should attempt to be,
Melt those swords to plowshares
Put the book down and get out there
To see that you've been missing out,
Their identity is not something you wine about,
We each are who we choose to be,
Gender and sexual identity,
Are ours to mold to fit our frame,
Doesn't matter if you didn't choose the same,
So stop trying
to get a look through
another person's window,
I'd be lying,
If I didn't say
That it makes you
Look like another weirdo
You're too involved in the lifestyles
Of the souls just trying to make it through
Another day another crisis
Another person trying to hold them down
I just need you to stop
Right now
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2. |
Dollar to Good Graces
03:56
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Shook the last dollar from the bank,
All dried up, Jesus to thank,
How inspired, this holy task,
Of paying God's bills, you only have to ask
I'm sure omnipotent builds a fine,
God Built up a tab on water and wine,
I got you, lord
you can pay me next time,
Tasked to tithe, pay for grace,
He's a material girl in his material faith,
Pass the pan, fill the hat,
Pay your way, Mind the gap,
It's only a tenth, it's only your bread,
It's only the way you get your grace,
Just put your money where your faith is,
A dollar to good graces,
I'm sure i'll prosper like the pastor,
Preaching humility for the now and here-after,
Showing off new his solid gold stratocaster,
The master of the prosperity chapter,
I'm sure the holes in my shoes are worth his Tesla Model 3,
And the size of my apartment should be a tenth of the size of the sanctuary,
And the homeless that were shooed away,
To make room for the private parking space,
All are God Blessed despite how uncaring it all seems,
Why else would it be on TV
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3. |
Lord Use Me
02:12
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Take me to the alter, lord,
Make me understand,
Take me to my knees, my god,
Take me in your hands
Show me what obedience means,
I am yours to command,
Pull me with your strength
Make me a real man,
God use me,
Abuse me,
Run on through me,
God make me understand
Show me all your dominance,
Show me my sinner’s heart,
Decimate my confidence
Enter me and tear me apart,
Blessed submissiveness,
God is an awesome god
Bowing down is common sense,
Punish me with your rod
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4. |
Bridges
03:01
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I Step up to the fall,
Jump in to drift away,
Is this answering a call,
Or caving in and giving way,
I can't pretend I'm anywhere close to complete,
This gives no zen and is only a place to rest my feet,
So listen in, follow the pan and delay,
Let each beat lead night into day,
It's life's foray,
The meat of the madness, the sleet in the rain,
It's the heat behind the lyrics, the street that leads Able to Cain,
This reminds me I'm alive
This is the pounding of the drive,
This is the sounding of the song,
This is where we belong,
This is the promise of tomorrow,
This is the gift following the sorrow,
This is the rift between you and me,
And the building of the bridges between,
It happens everyday,
I stop my pretending give in,
If the bass doesn't play,
Then my heart stops it's beating again,
These blood vessels are guitar strings,
The organs are the drums,
And if I do not sing,
Then I will come undone,
It maybe flair and overdramatic,
And the symptoms psychosomatic,
But the moment I stop creating,
I become erratic,
Manic, and it can be traumatic,
So i play it safe,
And play you out,
One last song for me to worry about,
But as the song plays,
There is no doubt,
This is what my life's about,
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5. |
The Man I Was Told to Be
03:57
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Masculinity,
What does it mean to me?
Is it bravery or chivalry,
Brazen Misogyny
Masculinity,
It was taught to me
Like the only thing you would be,
Was surrounded by Masculinity,
This is a deconstruction zone,
Please leave your heads in the upright position for maximum damage,
Be a good boy like daddy told ya,
Be a good Christian warrior,
Find a good employer,
And lord over your girl like your father before ya,
You're a good strong idiot male,
Making bank, staying pale,
Pretending that this is moral
But it's not normal
You can not be scared,
Masculinity,
You have to be prepared,
Masculinity,
You have to fight
It's only right,
Its Masculinity,
You have a role to play,
You must be who you were raised,
To be
It's history
You are the man
You were told to be,
Masculinity,
I'm afraid that I'm afraid of being afraid
Cause I was told I can't be afraid
that I'm afraid of being afraid
I was told that I cant
I'm afraid that I'm afraid of being afraid
I'm afraid that I'm afraid of being afraid
You are the man,
You need a plan
To be the lead
To rule the world
It's all excused,
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6. |
Enemy
02:42
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You Will be the target of my aggression,
You have no hold over me
There will be no self-righteous confession
You have become my worst enemy,
You are the wall between me and my resurrection
You made me celebrate my own secession
I have removed you from the question
This is not a reconstruction,
This is demolition,
I will leave only scorch earth below me,
Your extinction is my mission
You will not be held in submission
I owe you no favors
you were the anchor to my condition,
you were no savior
I bled all you gave me dry ten years ago,
And you made sure it was difficult let you go,
But I left Stockholm for Venice, buried all love at dusk,
I hope you enjoyed the show, I'm sure you must,
With all the times you left me wanting,
I'm sure my pain is entertainment,
You were late to bring me peace,
You'll be late to your arraignment,
I hope you got what you needed from our arrangement,
But I have broke from containment,
Prepared for our engagement,
All this burning bridges will be your payment,
You wore my face, but I will not be you,
You've been replaced, I made me new,
You've had a taste, ,
I've taken your place, and enjoy the view
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7. |
Don't Save Me
04:01
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I'm a mind matted by meaningful lies,
And I'm scattered in pieces and Patterns to leave em in tatters,
And I'm
Nothing but verses, rhythms and curses,
Staccato Consonants controversial reverses,
I'm no lyrical matador,
Metaphorically I'm a door,
Nothing more,
I'm a portal to be used n ignored,
Just let me throw show to the wind,
Wind back and let's begin,
Scripted to the end,
I'm only a kid in pretend
Don't save me
I'm a mess
I keep daggers
In my chest
I find value
In my distress
I'm unbothered
I'm undressed,
No pained plea,
There's no test,
I can be,
More than this,
You just can't see,
I'm depressed,
Buts it's candy,
It's progress,
Im Carpeted with runes
upon the house left in ruins
Left rusted binding in bedded,
I'm powered by songs unleaded,
Im scheming with tomes of leather,
I'm teething on tales untethered,
Keeping meters far from measured,
So they lead me unto the treasure,
Call me invested in my distress,
I nest my value in the Vexed
I got a
Bin of bargains in my chest
I'm most rested in my unrest,
I'm putting purpose in demons,
I'm rather versed in these heathens,
I'm having lunch with the pastors,
While planning dinner with cretins,
I'm more Jesus than reverends,
They scheme with demons we rend
He leaves heaven in Zion,
I reach heaven by pretend,
So take the ladder to Vegas,
I'm scattered thoughts left in stasis,
It's just word vomit as I write this,
Leave me nauseous as I fight this,
It's lyrical combat with the man of my past,
Let's get past that lift the weight on my back,
Nobody has that, the verses I rap,
Are no precon, I'm beyond that,
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8. |
Empty
03:24
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Screaming out like nothings left
Emptied all from my chest
Screaming out like nothings left
Emptied all from my chest
Screaming out like nothings left
Emptied all from my chest
Screaming out like nothings left
Emptied all from my chest
And I
Wont lie
I'm
Not fine
Sunday
I'm dying
Yelling to the sky
And come Monday
I'm lying
Telling you I'm fine
And you just believe me
look on right through me
Come Wednesday
I'm empty
Poured out on Tuesday,
Still two days til Friday
I'm just a commodity
Just a number and screen
Never really seen
But I can't stop working
Or I'll come undone
Saturday
I'll be just Another
On the run
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9. |
Mimic
04:36
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You should be proud of me,
Thirty years of perfect mimickry,
You fully believed I was human
Perfected identity,
You never even knew the real me
You never even cared to ask,
So I'll keep on pretending
Perfection in obscurity,
Hidden behind my mask
And it's funny to me now
That my righteousness was all show,
And it protected me from questions
I was too scared to ask,
It protected me from Truths I felt to broken to know,
So I'll take to the stage and bow,
Scream out "look at me now"
I hold my mask in two hands,
I need not make no demands
I knew all you secrets,
I know all you games
My secret weapon Is attention to detail,
And I know all your crimes and tall tales
And you didn't even know my name,
So no need for me to take blame
No need for me to feel shame
I'll keep my cards close,
My lover closer,
And never show what's in my head,
I'll be closing up,
I'll be telling falsehoods,
Keep my demons warm and fed
I hope you remember me
As a mess of eccentricities
Barely held together by these chords,
Done paying a price I can't afford
I'm keeping my Masks locked tight,
They're keeping me up at night,
But I know the ticket to my survival
Cause I never learned a trick more vital
I can't afford to show my skin anymore
I won't show my sin anymore,
Cause there's nothing more destructive than my honesty
So I'll practice confidence like it's common sense to hide this side of me,
It's due diligence to perform this like it's all I know
Because all I learned by growing up is how to put on a show
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10. |
Beyond the Gates
03:37
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I'm no master,
Merely here,
Mainly present
To face the jeers
Casket readied
Pour the beers
Liquid courage
Masks the fears
It's plotted Patterned and imprecise,
Senses scattered, Substance sliced,
Prophets promised paradise,
But I'm just bruised and battered, bathed in ice
Drastic action
Beyond trite
Plastic drums
Under neon lights
Here the hum
As strings take flight
All flash and fun
No depth, no life
So call me loser
Call me fake,
Substance lacking
Is all at stake,
These strings,
Are all it takes,
To carry me gently
Beyond the gates
No carbon copy, Canon call,
I'm carried quickly Beyond the wall,
Barren soul, I boldly fall,
Bravely screaming through it all,
I'm a savage stoic severed chord,
Disharmonic dirty damaged sword
A Cutting critic casting stones,
The harrowing hate is my own
I face my foes upfront at dawn,
In the mirror, they carry on,
No Masks to save me, no brains of brawn,
It's in the silence, the swords are drawn,
So call me foolish
Call me daft,
I'm a Poet,
But All hopes were dashed
Against the stones
By the waves I make
Bruised and battered
By this self hate,
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11. |
Dreamer's Journey
05:20
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Come forth to me,
I'll take you to see,
This realm beyond the black
Through the clouds, don't look back,
Thirty years beyond the moon,
A days ride from the sun
When you hit the belt, look east,
Let your eyes behold and feast,
You're only a few days jaunt through dreaming To arrive,
At the door of the next best years of your life,
With all the things you've been through,
What you have earned is what we give you,
You've only 50 years to give,
The holy hosts have left you,
It's only hell you come upon, only time to pass through,
So head west till your falling through the sieve,
It's just the path we travel,
It all unravels,
As the rabble move like cattle through the gates,
And we all breathe deeply,
Of the lives we empty,
Bravely we brandish boldness we bend and break,
So ride upon the words,
Rise high above the birds,
Head among the clouds, Forget the rest,
If dreaming is your friend,
Let all but madness end,
Head east from mourning for the dead,
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12. |
Painter's Palette
03:17
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Hey everyone
No stopping now,
Take pause and
take breaths
Take time
To realize
Art is timeless
It can wait for us
We can wait for them
To be ready
Rewind
And recontextualize
It's behind your eyes,
It Already arrived
Wait and see it
Be present
Its Waiting to be shown
We're waiting to see,
But we're ready to wait
For you, for us,
For your art to grace us
Art is gracious,
It sustains us,
Portrays us
As something more than human,
But so beautifully flawed,
Immortally mortal,
Showing all humans are Gods
portals
To worlds we create,
In art Gods congregate,
And coalesce,
Like colors on a palette
blended in faux balance,
Painters without malice,
Portraying no callous
Biased images of their world,
In it you can see through another's eyes
Like you are seeing for the first time,
Brilliancy in baby blues,
We are mesmerized
by exploding colors
On neon skies,
Over finger painted city-scapes
It's vibrancy escapes
Into the real world,
That feels fake,
We breathe life
Into ink and graphite
So take your time
Take pause
Take breaks,
Life will greet you when you're ready,
So make sure your hands are steady,
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13. |
Tales Run Tall
03:50
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What Happened to the stories of our fathers,
Of giants, pirates, big fish and Vegas,
When matters of fact didn't matter at all,
As long as all the tales ran tall,
With victories of the impossible
Bunyon and the Blue Ox,
Fell the Berlin Wall,
Tell your stories under moonlight,
Like you heard them all your whole life,
Before neon was your night light
Like you were on the Mississippi when it caught fire,
B. B. King and Elvis were smokin on the high wire,
And you roasted marshmallows on the burning river
No qualms about downing cognac no sorrows for your liver
You didn't need a babysitter
Just Carbon copy dollar novels
You didn't need some best seller,
You just needed music,
Warmth,
And a good first chapter,
When did we stop making up stories,
Creating legends in our head,
Now we let the TV
Curate fantasy,
With our screens beside our bed,
All those tales don't mean much to me,
They don't leave the Silver Screen
They've been tainting our memories,
All our heroes are actors with a salary
You see I was raised on Bowie and Johnny Appleseed,
Crossroad blues and childhood fantasies,
I let Stevie be the soundtrack of all the journeys in my head,
Now I create worlds of wonder in my head
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14. |
Golden Moments
04:55
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I take peace where I can get it,
Place my baggage where I can fit it,
Store away my hopes and fears
Package up all pains and tears
Lay anchor in the sound
Meditate on the now,
Cause peace
Is a rarity,
There's few moments
to seek some clarity,
It's all dissonance in the noise,
Barely a moment to find rest relaxation and poise,
So when you find it,
stake your ground,
Place your flag
in the peace you found
Cause it's a golden moment,
Where calm rests, you should hold it,
And all moments
where the songs alight
are golden
Every second brings
A song to sing
so hold them
Hope can spring
In the moments
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15. |
Communion (Bonus)
04:32
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I pour myself into a paper cup
I hope that I can finally be enough
Take of me
I give me freely
I pour myself into a paper cup
I open up a vein,
Bite through the pain
This is how I was taught to play this game,
So take from me what you want from me
Consuming me like property,
Truly blood is currency
It doesn’t matter that this is hurting me,
So grab a cup, fill it up,
I'm sure this blood will be enough
To Bleed me out
Without a doubt
I know my worth, it's blood in mouth
I pour myself into a paper cup
How much depends in how deep I cut
Take of me
I give me freely
I pour myself into a paper cup
It's now communion day
The cost is worth the pain,
I'm sure that this is supposed to make you feel this way,
Like your leaking from a spout,
Tip and pour me out
a wound so deep no bandage can heal the pain,
But it's pain to make the art,
To the heart is where we start
Make sure to take the time to clean the blade,
cut me to the quick,
Upper left is where you stick
Press it in with a twist as you make me play
It's all as malicious as a cyst
Performing melancholic hits,
You know how deep the blade can go,
So as you stab me in the back,
perform the art as the act,
Make sure to let me leave you slow
It's all codependent art,
To leave me leaking from the heart
Leave it red upon the fallen snow,
I'll make sure to die upon the stage
Sacrifice is all the rage
It's only harm if you don't put it in the show,
|
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16. |
||||
Allow yourself your dreams
Take a gentle escape from the scene
A journey far from these day to day trials
Into A portal that carries for miles and miles
Lightyears from the streets of The city
To a galaxy far far away is where you'll be,
A few pages in and you're gone
Vanished with nary a jig or a song
Bury yourself deep into the leather bound dopamine
Riding dragons over the mountains and the sea
Commanding vast armies from your throne
Another realm right there in the comfort of your home
Embrace the fantasy
as far as the eye can see
Close your eyes
And there you'll be
In the lands of fantasy
It's ink imbued with majesty
A thousand colors in the brush of the pen
One hundred page dynasty
Chapters that contain multitudes within
Family and friends between the covers of the tale,
Wondrous creatures and heroes To prevail,
The story comes with a promise that by the end,
The villains will be defeated and the heroes will win,
In a world of broken promises and half truths
The text is never changing, it's the magic of our youth,
So cherish it when the stories cast a spell,
Upon the little hearts and the dreams where they dwell,
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17. |
Story Wrote (Bonus)
03:27
|
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I got a glitch in the matrix,
Want to be known but fear fame,
Want to take steps into the future,
Crossing bridges bearing flame,
But I’ll be backstepping out of the forest
thinking it’ll all turn out the same,
A coward of a hero, no glory to the name,
I want to take a journey out the homestead
Like Frodo from the shire,
Make First steps out of the Jupiter
Walk into the shadows from the fire
But I crawl back under blankets like I’m a child again,
seeing snow drifts in the wardrobe, And i’m not looking in,
I took a step from the Ordinary,
Answered a call,
But as i climb ever higher,
It’s just further to fall,
The greats have walked this path,
And found their way to stand tall,
But as I step beyond the threshold,
I can’t best them all,
And i know that what i’ve faced is only the trial,
The truest test is still yet to come,
I’ve only tasted a sip of what's in the vial
And I don't know if this is torture or fun
I can’t play pacifist when it comes to my art,
That’s why I keep being raring to go, but failing to start,
No matter if I’m in the zone, or coming apart,
I got to keep fighting on through if I want to depart,
in the journey, i’m two faced truth,
trying to be the hero of my story, i’m the villain of my youth,
Trying to play at ego, wear my label with pride,
I created the scenario in which my younger self would run and hide,
Cause it’s uncomfortable out here in this dingy spotlight,
And the weatherman said it would be better to stay inside,
But i’m caught in the tornado and it’s too late for fright,
I’m far from Kansas, and i’ve got to be ready to fly,
Can you be the rival of your own mind?
Lost in the obstacles you put in your own way,
Trapped in cages of thoughts destructive and unkind,
And all you want is to crawl out and face the day,
But the villain in your way wears your own face,
And you left all the weapons of your youth inside
All the vigor and resolve left without a trace,
In the cage made of the walls you raised in your mind,
Wrote myself as damaged again,
I'm Always playing the monk with dissipating zen,
Some disturbed Saint, who lost themselves to sin,
But in truth it’s Simmons
who killed the Poet with the Pen,
And I'm losing my yang to the yin,
Philosophizing life while ranting to my kin,
Mocking purpose in the echoes of prophesizing men,
And yet I'm seeing myself lusting for the end,
|
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18. |
Bleed on Me (Bonus)
07:02
|
|||
Bleed on me
There's too much bullshit here to
Meet our needs,
We're running out of our
Humanity
And when the curtain falls its
Depravity
So bleed on me
I Can't take any more
Running towards a bolted door
I will make war
I will make war
Melting ethics,
The way they move, it makes me sick
Blinding politics
Breaking backs, stones and sticks
Everybody knows they crossed a line
Everybody knows the world is blind
Blood on the hands,
Blood in the streets,
Blood in your coffee,
And the food that you eat,
Blood in the schools
Blood in the clubs,
Blood on the dance floors
From the people you love,
Blood blood
Red stained on blue
Guns aimed at you,
Iron on the tongue
Iron in the lungs
Red stained on blue
Guns aimed at you,
Iron on the tongue
Iron in the lungs
|
Pendrop Poet Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Nonbinary, Autistic,
Queer Musician, Pulling life out of the Inkwell, Pulling art out of the Abyss, Making beauty of the canvas I was given. We are artists. We are art. Create with the tools you've been given to make your life beautiful.
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